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When Jan had glanced at Kyle, her mind had flashed to a memory of him naked and sweating as he lay on top of her, thrusting vigorously. When Jake had flashed a startled look at Jan, she had realized that her secret was out.She brought her thoughts quickly back under control by focusing on the food in front of her. Jake felt worry and regret and, uncharacteristically, dismay. He had never known her not to be in full control of herself before. That disturbed him nearly as much as the visceral ache of betrayal.He knew he was being a hypocrite. He had not asked her to be faithful to him. He certainly had not been exclusive to her. But that did not stop him from hurting. He had asked where the restroom was and then left to get himself back under control. It had taken a while, but he had managed to marshal a sense of resignation. He had returned to the table and done a creditable job of being social.He had not known what to say to Jan. In truth, he had not really wanted to talk to her at. Luckily, his grandmother had stepped in even though she had enough to do my father now being a cripple. I had remarried after another year or three, to Kate, then a housekeeper ‘in service’ as they used to say, and she had been a real treasure, a redhead, of about my own age, no drink on a stick model, all perfect curves and sensual, but a thin wiry lady in her 40`s, who was unafraid of hard work, and who to my mother`s relief took to the boy, and kept me a good house. There was only one drawback, Kate had something in her past that had frightened her away from sex… at least with grown men… and Sadly I was one of them, a grown man. Oh, she would kiss and cuddle me, she would let me fondle her breasts, older and saggy now, but breast just the same, but… get my end away… no bloody chance! It was psychological torment, I knew that, something in her past somewhere had caused her to freeze if a man even touched her sexually “down there!”, but I needed her love and if truth be told, her.
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