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Of course there was no signal. I swear, the only purpose of those infernal devices is to work when you don’t want calls. I looked at my watch. Just about 3 AM. Being who I am, I naturally check the weather forecast for the time of sunrise. I had about three hours. The car wasn’t like my van, now parked in a Federal parking lot in DC. That I could have climbed in and simply pulled the curtains. Here, it appeared my only option would be to crawl into the trunk and lock it. Fat chance. With my luck someone would pop it open at high noon, leaving me a small pile of dust. So I needed to catch a ride. That didn’t look real promising either. I had been wandering the mountains where North Carolina and Tennessee meet, trying to get some hint of the trail of the vampire serial killer I had been tasked with finding. I hadn’t found any trail and I hadn’t seen much traffic at all lately. Okay, part of that had to do with the fact that I was lost. I mean, I’m a vampire, not a walking GPS Locator.. I was taken to the lounge whereanother item of torture was waiting."Well John and I have to go out but we want you to be entertained." Inthe room was a square frame about 3 feet above the ground with wheels ateach corner. In the middle of the square was a pair of knickers suspendedfrom each corner. I was lifted into the knickers. My feet just touchedthe ground - I was suspended. My mittened hands were strapped to theframe. When I moved my legs the whole thing moved forward. "Well done,you can get your exercise while we are out." I stopped moving andsuddenly my whole body shook with pain. "WHHAAAAA!" Oh I forgot to tell you that if the wheels aren't moving you get ashock! I have this cable attached to batteries." I had not seen thecable. I started moving again, the pain stopped. "This is a reasonablysized room for you to keep going around for the next couple of hourswhile we are out!" A couple of hours! I continued walking around theroom. They went out. After a while I got bored and.
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