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But I began to feel more and more that it wasn’t enough, for him or for me. What we had was wonderful and amazing, of course. But the much more that we both hungered for, was not possible then, and might never be possible for us. Confused about what to do, how to move forward, how to resolve my mixed-up emotions, I sought the assistance of a psychiatrist. She wasn’t terribly helpful. Having been indoctrinated in western religion, not in what I considered the more naturally human Native American ways on which I had been raised, she was very judgmental. She couldn’t see herself advising me to strengthen my affair, or condoning the powerful love and lust I felt (and still feel) toward Eric. I turned to the Internet. People had been having affairs for millions of years, how had they handled this? It turned out there had been about as many different results from affairs, good and bad, as there had been humans on the earth throughout history. I wound-up even more confused. I loved what. .”She was speechless with that answer. What kind of world does he live in? Without paying much attention to May’s reaction, Lucas started to speak.“Leaving that aside, we need to explain the situation better to him. Let’s take the opportunity that he is still managing to hold on and tell his future. Hey, dog, pay attention to what we’re going to say, we’ll only say it once.”In a low voice, May whispered in Lucas’s ear after seeing him kick Clovis a second time, in the background one could hear Clovis cursing and threatening.“What if he gets even more furious and can withstand for more time the effects of the drug?”“As I told you before, you don’t have to worry, the limit that a normal human being can handle this pain is for an hour. This includes abnormal cases like his, where the person endures the pain using a stronger emotion. Do not worry. It can also help us since if we want him to listen to us, he needs to have his mind working. If he is feeling too much pain to think, you will.
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