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............Part 1 At the time I was around 12-13 home life was often strict and dysfunctional at the best of times. The school summer break had only just began and my feelings of dread started to role in regarding having to do stuff in the garage with dad when I would rather be out hanging with Anthony who's mom and dad owned the Tavern inn across from where we lived.This particular weekend i asked could go and hang out with Anthony and to my surprise i was a lowed to providing i was safe etc..Anthony who was slightly younger than my self with short. I took a long hot candle lit bubble bath tonight and thought about why I seem to be letting you control me. I have come to the conclusion that I am the reason that you are controlling me. I let you because you know a secret of mine. But there is another underlying reason why. When I was young my parents were very strict. Our home life was very structured as my dad was in the military. I grew used to being told when to eat, sleep, relax, or whatever. Then I became a teacher and again I am in a controlled situation. The school system and the class room settings are very controlled. It seems like I need to be in a setting like that to survive. I don't have that setting here at home. Don't get me wrong I love my husband but he is very loose. He has no organization and he never tells me what to do. You Master on the other hand are very structured and disciplined. When you tell me to do something I feel as though I am compelled to do whatever you ask. I know I am about twice your age but I.
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