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I have allowed myself to get swept away by those I have surrounded myself instead of holding true to all that he taught me. My shame is great. He says that he does not hold me responsible for the changes he has noticed and I am sure there will be more that become apparent to his unwavering gaze. He knows me like no other and the more time I spend with him, the more I reveal, without even knowing, of how I have let myself go once he was gone. I feel so much shame but yet still find hope in the time he allows me to be at his feet. In one sentence he can have me trembling in fear that I will never be allowed in the comfort of his steel again but hopeful that he might give me a chance. I think he relishes the power he has over me, knowing he keeps me in suspense, frustrated and confused but oh, so overjoyed that he allows me a chance to try. I don’t think I can put eloquently enough into words all that he was and is to me or begin to explain the thousands upon thousands of hours that he. No, my sleeping child and angel we have only been able to enjoy our desires and temptations silently and secretly, far removed from the worlds stare and judgment , where shadows rest and time falls continuously down the walls which separate our hopes, wishes and dreams. I have wished to visit you in your dreams time and time again. I have longed to awaken you behind your diamond midst of slumber where you play in the field of dreams, dancing to star drops and rainbow fountains, and mountains made of snow, and lakes filled with honey and cream, but our time was not right. There are many obstacles yet to cross and gulfs yet to be enjoined. I have fought many battles during our separation and have heard of your plights with Satan’s beast as well. Our many scars bear witness to the power and temper of Lucifer’s dragons , the conspiring demons who strip us of our dignity, rob us of our strength, and play against our hearts and emotions rendering us bitter and angry. They have told me of.
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