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“I want you to smell my cunt, Charlie.” * There was a group performing in the pub, so I grabbed Charlie up to dance. I pressed myself up against him as we shuffled around the floor, but it only took a minute to tell that he wasn’t a dancer.“I’m sorry, Charlie, you should have said.”“Hi, Mum.” I whirled around and saw my daughter's lovely face, she flew into my arms and we hugged each other.“You said you weren’t coming up this year,” I said accusingly.“I changed my mind.” She giggled and turned to Charlie.“You must be the famous Charlie,”“Er, well, er, yes. How do you do?”I looked over her shoulder at my husband standing at the bar, he raised his eyebrows as if to say, 'Nothing to do with me.'“I’m going to the loo,” Charlie said and promptly disappeared.“You’re a dark horse aren’t you mum?” She laughed. “And a black man too, he’s gorgeous.”“He’s just a... well. He’s just a friend.”“Mum, this is me talking. He’s fucking gorgeous, has he got a big one?”“Karen!”“Mum,” she giggled, “he’s. ‘Did you see the way his ex mashed her boobs into me, trying to get a rise out of Dave?’ I laughed, glad I wasn’t the only one who got that impression. ‘Maybe she was trying to get a rise out of you,’ I teased. ‘I never liked her, for all the reasons that my mom loved her. Plus, I’m gay.’ ‘Oh,’ I said, my surprise evident. ‘Yeah, it took me a long time to come to terms with that, too.’ ‘David never mentioned it.’ ‘That’s because I haven’t told them yet. I was going to talk to them tonight, but then Dave went and dropped that bomb,’ he laughed. ‘I’ve been seeing someone for a while now, but I didn’t want to bring him over until I talked to them about it first. It’s not that I’m afraid they won’t accept it, just – well, you’ve seen how my mom can be. I wanted her to get used to the idea before I introduced her to my boyfriend.’ ‘You two will have to come out with us one night, so we can all get acquainted. It would be nice to see you on more than just holidays.’ ‘That would be cool.’.
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