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The first time I got my hands inside her bra she wouldn’t look at me while I massaged her breasts. Her nipple hardened and she began to pant a little and removed my hand. Many the time we would sit closely together in the evening on campus my holding her as she cried about her lack of being able to sleep, and the noise of the dormitory. We would kiss and I would feel the cool tears on her face. I was lonely, very lonely. My mother had told me never to come home. My dad was more lenient but not real supportive. As a result the both of us needed each other. I for companionship and she for a friend to unload her anxieties, depression and isolation upon. Not until much later did I realize how unhealthy and immature this relationship was. Neither of us had a ‘home’. We had parents but her dad had disowned her for going to college and told her she could never succeed in anything in life. She ultimately believed him. This had been his lifelong message to her. She was worthless and would. Colin seemed to be in a cheery mood, but Aileen knew that he was still very troubled, just as she was. They really needed to talk. A couple of times Aileen almost started a serious discussion, but then decided to just hold off until they were actually at the cabin. She wanted to pretend that everything was still normal between them, just for a while on the drive up, after they talked, their relationship might be so damaged that she wouldn't even be able to pretend any longer. She rested her head on his shoulder and drifted off into a fitful sleepThey arrived there in the late afternoon. The cabin looked bigger than it had the last time they were there. It was just the two of them this time. It was very cold up in the mountains and the lake was indeed frozen over, but Aileen wouldn't recommend walking across it, the ice looked pretty thin in places. The air was brisk, but it was also clean and refreshing. Stark trees laid bare for the winter intermingled with evergreen ones all over.
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