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I knew then, that I most definitely hadn’t changed my own mind, but I did wonder if perhaps he had changed his? I allowed my head to roll towards him, I could observe his beautiful masculine profile from close up now. Adrian’s head lay close to me on its own pillow, and he was looking upwards from his prone position, and I noticed that his chest was rising and falling slowly. My own breathing was considerably faster than his, and I could sense my heart racing within my ribcage. I really wanted his arms grasping me to him now!He spoke almost inaudibly, “Let’s go downstairs, and I’ll make you another coffee Caja.” ‘Disappointment.’These were certainly not the words I had been hoping for, but before I could say anything, Adrian got up off the bed quickly, and left the room, his feet almost silent on the wooden flooring. I continued lying there on the bed, I knew I was disappointed, and in the pit of my stomach, the butterflies stopped. How had it come to this, we’d been so close. She mused angrily to herself about why she let this man have such power over her when she was known as a leader in the rest of her life? Everyone said she was a natural leader. She hid her dissatisfaction at work well, but she knew she’d only coasted since Steve’s coaching and cheerleading took wing. ‘I just called to see what you are doing for the holiday, M,’ he said. He’d always called her M, just M, not Martha or Marty like everyone else. Try as she might to be strong, the lump in her throat and the bubbling tears made it nearly impossible for her to sound detached as she whispered, ‘Where are you?’ Even she didn’t know where she hoped he was, her physical core ached to hear he was within touching range. ‘Where would you like me to be, huh M?’ He was baiting her like he always had. He loved to keep her off center. If she admitted it he was the taker and she’d always been the giver. She was determined not to give into him this time, the healing process had started. She wished he.
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