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Been on the pill since I had Daniel, never been with a guy yet. At least not when I was awake, the first and only penis I ever saw was my sons when I started changing his diapers.The kids at school assumed I was a slut, I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone. I know I am not entirely without blame. I did go to community college, did get a job, I just never got past my shyness enough to meet up with anyone.None of this added up on me until my son was getting to be the age I was when all this happened. Daniel has always been a fantastic child who inherited no sign of my shyness. Daniels positive outgoing nature has both made him popular at school as well as a frustration for me at home. He is everything that I never was, I found myself imagining him fondling some girls breasts, and her liking it. All these "normal" things associated with growing up were only highlighting my own personal frustrations with myself. I was sick of the way I was living my life, yet felt powerless to. Content to die by your kiss. I love it. I let your power come into my body. I let you take me over. Spill into me darling, all your love, all your hate, everything, give it to me. Give it all to me.Hurt me. Destroy me. Dominate me. Make me kneel, make me grovel. Make me kiss you in self-destruction forever. Let go, darling, oh please let it go.The black, silk scarf comes out of your pocket. I asked you for it. I wanted something of yours in my mouth. Something I can have and taste, love and hate when you render me helpless, when you take away my voice.You hesitate. You stop right as the scarf gets to my mouth. I can see the last bit of control start to finally slip away. Your eyes are unsure. So I bring you back to where I want you. I say the one thing you want to hear, the simple statement that lets you loose control and wreak havoc on me, to make war on me, to exhaust yourself on me. The need, the sad and hurtful need is in your eyes and I want it to go away. I.
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