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’ ‘You ought to be in marketing Billie.’ ‘I’ll leave that to people like you Jane. I’m a lazy romantic who likes to watch butterflies flitter.’ ‘Oh god you sound so incredibly lovely Billie. When we heard that you almost removed your editor’s head we all thought you must be such a bitch.’ ‘I’m beginning to think I’m all things to all people Jane. Oh next time you are having sex do it with a flower stalk between your teeth and see where that takes you and your lover.’ ‘Oh god, I must try that Jane. Have you any more great tips for the bedroom?’ ‘Bye Jane.” Ending that call Billie thought it seemed incredible that aged twenty-five it appeared she’d just written a top-seller… er… and in the top league seller. And for the second time she’d given much older women advice off the top of her head that appeared to hold them in awe of her. She must stop doing that otherwise people would really expect her to know everything and be invincible. Every author has at least one book that bombs. Would. I believe they recieved these attributes from our mother, as she is also a very formidable, conventionally attractive female who commands respect from all around her.My father was not in the picture, and it had been like this for as long as I could recall, so I was the only male in the house, and as well as passing on her positive genetic attributes my mother also passed on a lingering resentment towards males in general which my twin sisters picked up on from an early age so that if any conflict between us arose my mother instinctively took my twin sisters side. Sorry if those details seem excessive or irrelevant, I just wanted to paint a clearer picture. Anyway, I burst through the door and my sisters see not only the look of dismay, shock and defeat on my face, but my shrivelled little penis and balls. Their eyes widen as do their mouths, which they cover with their hands as they let out a big gasp. My mother's reaction was one of shock just like my sisters but less of amusement,.
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