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We talked about playing this rape thing for real. It sounded like a lot of fun to me at the time. We planned it so I would go for a walk and he would pretend to kidnap me. We had to wait until my parents were leaving for the weekend to visit some of our family. I told them I should stay home so I could study for finals. I remember it was a really long wait for me. That whole week was one of the worst weeks I had in school because I could not think about anything other than getting laid. We passed the time by figuring out the details of our rape plan. He told me all the things he wanted to do to me. Getting tied up was a huge turn on for me. He wanted his friend to be there too, though. I thought it was weird, like I didn't know if he was gay or something. But he said I'd like it a lot better, and I trusted him at the time. So the plan was that he and his friend would pretend to kidnap me, tie me up take me back to his house and make love to me. When it came time to do it, I was so. Tears formed in her eyes. Sean answered, "We are opening you to all that you are, Monica. This is who you are. Beautiful, unspoiled, smart and so, so innocent. Vicky is wet because of you. I am hard because of you. Chrissie is desperately trying to get herself off without anyone noticing, because of you." "How could this be and I not know it?" "I don't know. It just is. What I, what we, have been doing to you has allowed you to bypass the constraints of your life experience so far. Within the context of our relationship, and we do have a relationship, you have given over control to me and to Vicky. In doing so, you have freed yourself from responsibility for your actions. You chose to trust us to lead you, to see the you that might be, that you wanted to be but could not persuade yourself to bring into being. You had too much fear. We took that fear from you, and you blossomed." "What if I don't like this me?" "That is possible, I guess. What do you think? Do you want to go.
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