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” I certainly didn’t judge her for that because I knew how difficult life was for her before he came along. Here’s where the conversation got weird. She said, “But the main reason was how I feel about you.”That didn’t compute and my face must have said, “What?” She went on. “i’ve been unhappy about myself for a long time now…how I feel…how I shouldn’t feel…that’s why last night I took too many pills.” My alarm must have been evident. “Baby don’t worry…”she said. “I was wrong…that’s why I threw them up before they affected me too much.”All I said was “MOM?”She read what I was thinking and said, ” I won’t do it again I promise love, just… Listen to me…i’ve always told you everything.” She hesitated a moment and said, “i’ve never been that interested when it came to being physical with men, not with your father, not with Carl, but I feel something I shouldn’t when I think about you…when I’m with you…”Holy Maloney, what was I hearing? After a speechless moment, something struck me. “Mom,”. "So," Spike went on. "We're both in need of a wingman." A what?" Bob looked confused."A wingman. A bro. A partner in crime," he explained unhelpfully. "Look, I'll take seconds. I mean, you're a decent looking bloke, so your seconds are probably a lot better than I could do on my own."A light switched on in Bob's head; he was talking about picking up girls! Bob almost laughed out loud at Spike's tragic misfortune to attach himself to the one person in the bar most able to repel a woman, any woman, attractive or otherwise. The idea of two men working together to meet girls struck him as simultaneously absurd and eminently sensible at the same time. Just the sheer number of things that could go wrong: how do you decide who gets which girl? What if you both want the same girl? What if they both want the same guy? What if two hit it off and the other two don't? Or – and this was so horribly perfect that Bob understood it would almost certainly happen: what if you started out with one.
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