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“Alright, listen up Dude! The 129th Rasheul great slave tournament features a grand total of 128 combatants. In seven nail biting and chest pounding fights you will have to hack, slash, bite and blow your way to victory in a no holds barred match. And we are not kidding around here. Weapons are allowed, as well as items, magic and whatever else you can think of. Only requirement is that you can carry your gear and enter the arena alone. Gnarly.”After a short pause, perhaps to gauge if I was actually paying attention or to take a breath, she continued.“Fights lasts until one participants gives up or kicks the bucket. But, chillax dude our spooky, scary necromancers have you covered. The whole arena is drenched in a Level 3 reviving spell, that will heal all wounds, including a sudden case of mortality, once the battle is concluded. Radical!”“Swagger your way trough the whole tournament and you will loot the grand price of a cool 50.000 Gold coins as well as a free mansion in the ritzy. I told he that I didn’t know how we could do it but she told me to drive to a field by her house and park up in the gate way. This I did then she told me to carry her into the field where I would find a tree with a “Y” in the lower branches and I could place her there and have my way with her from behind. This I did and spent the next hour shagging the arse off her. Afterwards, I lifted her down, put her back in the car and drove her home. I pulled up at the front door and the farmer came rushing out and, grabbing me by the shoulders, gave me a big hug and thanked me for bringing her home safe. I explained that I was a gentleman and what else could I have done? To which he informed me that “Everyone else, always leaves her in the tree!”“I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I.
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