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But I'm getting a head of myself. See I got married to the only man who had ever made love to me and no he didn't take my cherry but that's something I don't talk about other then to say the man who did ended up in jail and the other inmates made sure he would never hurt any more 10 year olds ever! After I got marry my husband and me we had sex 5 to 6 times a week but I started thinking I was missing something cause sure it felt good, not great but good and all my friends would talk like making love was so great and how they just couldn't go without it for more then a couple days. Not me I could care less if we made love and at times I would suck my husband off so I didn't get a wet spot to sleep in. Steve, that's my husband came home with a video he said we should watch together, that wasn't about 2 years ago. He said that he wanted to watch it in bed so we went to bed early and I couldn't believe my eyes. First that white women were doing those things with black men and then the. Now I noticed all the people around that had been staring at the confrontation, and I couldn't decide if the fact it would spread like wildfire was good or bad.I went to the front row and sat down with Tony next to me, staring straight ahead.What had I just done? Was I right? Wrong? Stupid? All of the above? I felt my breathing start to speed up and the tears threatened to overwhelm me.Tony took my hand in his, and I looked at him through my unshed tears. "I'm so proud of you," he said quietly.I stopped a maniacal laugh in my throat through brute force. "I've just walked away from the only family I've ever known."He nodded. "Just like I did. Now you don't have to fit into the mold of what they expect and demand. You can be who you want to be now."That brought a small smile. "I already have a reputation for doing what I want in spite of the consequences." I didn't say free to do what you want, Regan. That's not the same thing as being free to be who you want to be."I pulled a tissue.
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