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The wedding went off without a hitch and we spent a great two weeks in Hawaii for our honeymoon. Life was bliss. There was only one time that we had a little spat in Hawaii. Caz asked me one night if I would like to go out to a steakhouse for dinner or get some pizzas delivered to our room. I didn’t particularly care and told her that. She blew up. “For God’s sake make a decision, please.” And she stormed off. I found her an hour later in the bar, back in the middle of a group of people dancing, laughing and doing shots. I went up to her and said, “Let’s go to the steakhouse.” “Well, it’s about fucking time you made a decision. Let’s go. I’m famished.” It was such a small incident that I took no notice of her reaction, or of what she had said about me not making a decision. Over the next few months our life together was great. Plenty of good sex and we seemed to understand each other’s needs really well. The only time we argued was when Caz cracked it when I allowed her to make. Charlie mentioned it in passing and almost seemed to be checking for my reaction to the news. I was just glad that the hurt inside me didn’t show on the outside. As much as I hated the idea that someone else had her, it wasn’t like I could expect her to sit home waiting for me to come to my senses, she’d never expect it. It also showed how she felt about me and proved I needed to get over this obsession. If she felt anything that night, apart from pleasure, then she wouldn’t have started dating so soon. I couldn’t bring myself to even have some random sex because I knew it wouldn’t make me feel any better, and I could hardly bear to think it, but she was probably sleeping with him. I just hoped that sooner rather than later I would feel some attraction to someone else because I knew that would be the first step back to normality. I knew I wasn’t behaving like I usually did and I was aware it had been noticed. Perhaps not so much by the staff in general, as they didn’t know me so.
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