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The nightmares themselves didn’t seem that bad, but waking up, I was terrified, out of breath, feeling like I was having a heart attack.’ ‘Why didn’t you tell us this?’ Ronnie demanded, clearly angry at me. I shrugged. ‘I don’t know,’ I told him. ‘It’s a weakness. The day I’d first cut myself, a switch in my head had been flicked. Instead of feeling horror, I felt nothing. I became addicted to it. It was the only way to release the pressure that was feeling.’ ‘Damn it, Lance,’ Billy growled. ‘Look,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry, but at first, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with what I was doing. It felt normal to me.’ ‘Are you stupid?’ Ronnie demanded. ‘How could you possibly think that self mutilation is normal?’ ‘I’m sorry,’ I said again, ‘But I felt I had to deal with this on my own.’ ‘So what does Maranda say about all this?’ Dalton asked, curious. ‘She busted me. Saturday, at the Teen Center. She made me walk with her. She’s very persuasive, made me tell her everything. I had. "Sorry folks. We nearly had an accident back there and I guess I lost my cool a bit", I announced to the small crowd of onlookers. The women smirked at the thought that it could happen to men, also, but the men took one look at the bulge in my pants and the company I was traveling with and nodded wistfully, knowing that they would probably never have the chance to embarrass themselves in that particular manner.We finally made it into the store and the girls had a little whisperfest with one of the sales girls, who led us back to a special dressing room area that wasn't visible from the rest of the store. There was only one little old man back there, apparently waiting for his wife, although she must have been from a later generation than him. It was hard to imagine any woman his age trying on the types of things that were sold in this particular emporium.Marcie and Betsy roamed the store and picked out a few loads of clothes to try on while I made small talk with the old guy. About.
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