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> He put on his shoes and drove home.> "Where have you been?" his wife demanded.> "I can't lie to you," he replied,> "I'm having an affair with my secretary.> We had sex all afternoon."> She looked down at his shoes and said:> "You lying bastard!> You've been playing golf!">>> The 2nd Affair>> A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters> but always talked about having a son.> They decided to try one last time> for the son they always wanted.> The wife got pregnant> and delivered a healthy baby boy.> The joyful father rushed to the nursery> to see his new son.> He was horrified> at the ugliest c***d he had ever seen.> He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the> father of this baby.> Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!> Have you been fooling around behind my back?"> The wife smiled sweetly and replied:> "Not this time!">>> The 3rd Affair>> A mortician was working late one night.> He ! examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,> about to be cremated,> and made a startling. "Amy was a teacher," Jean corrected, "until we began the CAP improvement program. Now Amy is my most trusted assistant. Amy is coming with us. Amy's sister, Angie, and Angie's two young children are coming as well. Heather Olsen, the school secretary is coming. We would like to take a young man who tried valiantly to improve his CAP score, but failed. We would also like to take one very young adult female, whom we would shelter and nurture to her full capacity. We think Stephanie should be that young woman." So, there would be six women and two men in the family," Amy summarized, "plus Angie's two and Heather's three children." Heather's oldest son is the same age as your Jacob," Jean added.They fell silent. Jean and Amy saw that he was considering, contemplating. Presently, he mentally re-joined his guests. "I would be eternally grateful to you, Jean," he said softly, "if you would take my three children with you in the extraction. Every child deserves a mom and a dad. Mine have been.
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