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Equals seven and a half ounces of alcohol. Plus six cans of beer. Makes an awful lot of alcohol for someone who hasn’t had a drop in six months. It’s a good thing I booked a cheap motel eight blocks over. I am certainly going to need to lay low tonight. No driving for this dude. The third quarter of the game has ended. After four small sips I feel brave enough to look around. The numbing in my face is spreading to my brain. I am beginning to relax. There are at least twenty guys in the room. More than I counted when I passed through the first time. At least half of them are wearing towels. Only towels. Most of them are watching the game or shooting the shit. A couple of them look to be flirting. No, let’s be honest. They are fondling each other under the table. For Christ sake. Stupid towel men. I find a clock on the wall. It is midnight. Wow, time is flying by. When you are having fun. Well, the game is good. In fact, the game is excellent. Especially on this magnificent giant. I despise the fact that this wretched woman has my heart's desire by her side. The disgusting thoughts of their love that my envy brings to the forefront of my mind, only make me iller as the weeks pass. As well as even more jealous, incidentally. I don’t know why my head chooses to vex me with vile images of their bodies entangled in sheets. But it does. Probably, a way of telling me of why I should let my love go. Nothing inherently new. My stubborn thinker refuses to allow me peace of mind while my heart feels as it does, and it seems hell bent on making me sick to my stomach with imaginations of moans of pleasure and roaming hands. As much as I try to block these images from my mind, I always find my way back to hating this woman for even existing at all. I know full well that it’s wrong to think such things but I can't help feeling that way. In truth, I hate myself for it. We have agreed to be friends and I am trying my hardest not to break this verbal agreement but I cannot.
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