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-Phyllis DillerHis finest hour lasted a minute and a half.-Phyllis DillerOld age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.-Phyllis DillerMy photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me.-Phyllis DillerI admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.-Phyllis DillerTranquillizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.-Phyllis DillerI asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'-Phyllis DillerThe reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.-Phyllis DillerYou know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.-Phyllis DillerBest senior pick up line:A very elderly gentleman, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.He was in his mid nineties.He was very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel and smelling slightly of a good after shave.He presented a very well looked after image,Seated at. Would you like riding the subway with those on? Feeling every little bump? Maybe I’d have you put them on at start of the hour, every hour, all day. Sometimes for 2 minutes, sometimes for 5. That would be fun.”“9.7, Sir, 9.8. Please, Sir.”“Good girl. Almost.”“9.9!”Yes, his lovely, soft, wicked, cruel-as-fuck fingertip disappeared again. She whispered, “Fuck,” which made him chuckle.He walked in front of her, and suddenly the soft head of his hard cock was against her lips. Though she was nothing but frustration, she still wanted it and opened her lips. “That all made me very hard. I think it’s time we take your ass. Make sure you get it good and wet.” She moaned around his cock. “What a slut you are, my love. I should take the blindfold off for a minute, and get you a mirror, so you could watch me take your owned ass. It’s a beautiful picture, you tied and helpless, the clamps swinging from your nipples, your bottom red, you getting my cock ready for your bottom. That’s it, good.
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