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But it did serve to prevent too many emotions from surfacing. Sorrow suffused her face."Is it still the same, Tim? Is the hurt still there?" I tell myself to forget, and for quite a lot of the time I do. Yet when I relax in the evenings, the heartache comes out of nowhere. The anger has mellowed though." I am so sorry, Tim. Almost every day I regret the actions I took. I tell myself to forget too, but every morning I wake up without you beside me, and I remember once more and cry a little." That got to me."You shouldn't do that Jas." Why did I say that? I woke up every morning and sadness enveloped me as I realised that Jas wasn't beside me. This was stupid, I got up."Where are you going?" I thought I would get back. Things to do." Jas looked disappointed."I was hoping you would spend the night with me." Jas. I can't. Too many memories, too much pain." She shook her head."Tim, if you allow the memories and pain to take over, they will always be in charge." Easy for you to say, Jas.". The other ladies have as well. It’s one of the great mysteries of life, and one every man and woman have to come to grips with, each in their own way. In my case, I’ve learned to just bring him problems I can’t solve, tell him the possible solutions I’ve thought of, why I don’t think those solutions will work, and ask him to come up with a workable solution. For the rest, I talk to you and the other ladies. If you and Pablo continue together, you’ll need to understand that there will be times you’ll want to say, ‘Honey we need to talk’ and figure out how to say them or save them until you’re in town.”Mrs. Mendoza was one smart woman.We talked for a while longer before I paid for breakfast, gave Anna a kiss and hug, getting a big Anna smile in return, and left for the stables. At the stables, I invited Mr. Mendoza to ride out with me to practice shooting. We saddled up and rode east, out of town towards the Organ Mountains, looking for an arroyo about six feet deep that we could get.
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