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“What about the car?” I ask. “Oh, Lanie’s Restaurant is just around the block,” he smiled at me and I slip my hand in his. I don’t know how this could get any more perfect. Except, now I feel guilty and I tense up. I hope he doesn’t notice or if he does, just assume it’s because we’re alone. I feel like I’ve cheated on him even though we aren’t officially together. One thought leads to another and I start feeling like maybe Josh and I are going too fast. “Josh, do you think we’re going to fast?” I blurt before I have time to filter what I wanna say. He looks at me surprised. “Well, that’s why I’ve been asking you to movies and dinner and stuff. Why?” I’m scared to answer his question in case I slip up and he finds out about Taurus. But why did I feel so relaxed around Taurus and he didn’t even do any more than kiss me. Josh and I have only met three or four times and two of those times we had sex! He seems to pick up on my thoughts because he squeezes my hand. “Lily, if I thought we. "I tried to read her. Moments before I'd been sure she was going to turn me down but now she was going over the whole thing so deliberately. Did she enjoy drawing out a refusal? I couldn't tell what she was up to. "Yes," I said, immediately chagrinned that my word was little more than a mumble."You don't need us." I stared. I didn't understand why she repeated the point. "But you very much want us."I certainly did. It was perfect, I just knew my advisor would approve and things would go smoothly. She still said nothing. "Yes," I said again.Her gaze never left me, and I felt when I faltered at holding her eyes that I probably looked guilty about something. It was so hard to look her in the eye. She was so intense.We stood there. I was rooted to the spot."Undo your jeans and push them down."I found myself staring. She hadn't moved a muscle, still sat against the desk. Could she have said that? My heart was suddenly beating. What was going on? She simply sat there, watching me. But I.
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