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But, at least they can say they've played there.St Mellion? Oh of course, dear boy, play there all the time.TPC Sawgrass? Yep, been there too. (Only on the Nintendo though).And so on. Lying bastards!I am no exception, sad to say. Related below is a blow by blow account of my miraculous game at Hindhead Golf Club, in the wilds of Surrey. Did you know it's a qualifying course for the open? Well it is or was and that should give you a clue about the degree of difficulty faced. (Bet you're hooked now eh?)Now, I am not going to give you all eighteen holes worth of tragedy, bad luck and mis-fortune suffered while in the company of two very good players, but I will relate a truncated and précis version, cutting out the swear words and many of the errant shots.Hole 1. Played off the yellow tees. Par 4. 401 yards long. Straight ... ish.The tee shot needs to have at least a 200 yard carry to get over the purple heather in front of you and down both sides of the fairway. My drive was anything. I left my house a bit early in case I had trouble finding it, but I didn't and I was there a little early at 6.15. I thought I'd come to the wrong door, though, when it was opened by a slim black woman about 32. She was just so beautiful like Bernie and my stomach lurched again and words were hard to get out."Uh, s-sorry is this where B-Bernadette Love lives?" I asked, not expecting a positive answer."Oh, you must be Lynda, yes Bernie's expecting you, come in please." I went in and she shook my hand quite formally. "Actually Bernie's just popped round the shop but she won't be a few minutes." Yes I AM a little early. Um, are you her mum?"She laughed. "I gather she didn't tell you I was black did she?" No, she omitted that small fact. Sorry, I didn't mean to sound surprised." It's OK. Can I get you a drink while you're waiting and I'll explain." Sure. Just a water please." She got me a glass of Evian and we sat in the kitchen. I really didn't understand what was going on with me. I.
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