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It's all just so surreal. And I don't... Fell like I deserve it... or that I'm worth it.” You start crying slightly, and I quickly wipe your tears away and press my forehead against yours.You hasten to explain. “I'm not unhappy... I just feel so overwhelmed! And... And I'm happy that someone loves me... And wants me.” You look up at me and kiss me gently on my lips, climbing into my lap sidesaddle, wrapping your arms around my shoulders. “Thank you, S. I'm so happy that we're together!” You laugh, cheeks still wet with tears. “I just never thought I'd be here... And I just don't know what to do or how to feel. It's all so confusing.”You were repeating yourself now, but I smiles and kissed you deeper. “Shut up, Silly. I'm happy to give you anything you want or need.” I smiled against your lips before pulling back slightly. “On that note! I have another surprise for you! Wait here.”I quickly sat you back on the bed and pulled up my pants, striding purposefully from the room. I came. More and more people began to take notice of me and to remark on my appearance, some of it nice, some of it creepy. On countless occasions, I noticed men following me around the supermarket and not infrequently at the local mall, too. I was still quite shy about all this obvious attention and quite certain that the temptation I felt to flaunt my body was the work of the devil, but I was also oddly flattered and exhilarated at the same time. I even found myself occasionally giving in to the devil’s temptation and ‘posing’ for some of the guys I knew were checking me out, and then feeling ashamed moments later when I’d remind myself that I was now a newly married woman. But I had to admit more and more that I enjoyed being looked at. Later that summer, I had my hair cut into the more flattering shape my hair dresser had been recommending and let him colored it a much lighter shade of blonde than my natural ash. The hair style and color proved perfect, complementing my face, drawing.
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