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If you can give me a new reason for speeding – a reason I've never before heard – I'll let you go..."The old gentleman paused then said, "Thirty three years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman;I thought you were bringing her back." Have a good day, Sir," replied the copper.QueenslandThe owner of a golf course on the Gold Coast was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said,"You graduated from the University of Queensland and I need some help. If I was to give you$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,"Everything but my earrings."TasmaniaA senior citizen in Tasmania was overheard saying,"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be here."When asked why, he replied,"I'd rather be in Tasmania 'cause everything happens in Tasmania 20 years later than in the rest of the world."Northern TerritoryThe young man from NT came running into the. Well, OK, I had a few thoughts, but nothing came of them. One of the things that helped keep me out of trouble that season was that one of the mothers on the team was a nurse, and had volunteered to be the team trainer. I was relieved that she was there to keep things like my massaging Susan's calves, or patching Elena's thigh, from tempting me.But all my good intentions and determination to maintain a strictly business-like attitude toward my players slowly eroded as the season wore on. For one thing, there were even more attractive girls on this team than had been on the Strikers. There was one girl in particular that I found more and more difficult to think of as just a soccer player. Patti Ellsworth was a cute sixteen-year-old who seemed to have been sent over from central casting to play the role of the dumb blonde on the Ravens. She looked younger than her age, and had a little-girl voice that seemed to emphasize her ditzy attitude. I usually don't go for that type, preferring.
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