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” She said afterwards. “We’ve been together for a month now; we have to cool down a little.”But we didn’t.I wanted her, and she either wouldn’t or couldn’t refuse. I was usually naked at home. Jules would put clothes on, and she looked so good in them I’d just take them off and make love with her again.I was fifteen, obsessed, in love perhaps, full of testosterone and adrenaline. I guess I was addicted; to sex for sure, and perhaps to Jules specifically.If she’d had the strength to control me, it might have all gone in a different direction; but Jules was fundamentally subservient. She’d chosen me because she wanted to break her chains, she’d thought a boy as young as me would be under her control.And I would have liked that too. I didn’t want responsibility, I just wanted sex.And with Jules, I could have it. I just had to take her, she couldn’t say no to me.We rarely left the house. We ordered food in, and fucked our brains out.Our decent was only halted when a visitor arrived.Jules. His thoughts were increasingly along the lines of 'What have I done?' He was beset by doubt over his decision to quit The Firm. One night, lying next to Anne in the darkness, he was feeling so unsure that he was tempted to ask if he could rescind his resignation. It was largely the sense of shame that he would feel as a result that deterred him from doing that, along with a good dose of in-the-morning realism.It was Elizabeth he talked to about it that morning."It's just nerves, Stan. You've always been resistant to change, and this is a big one. Mind you, I thought you'd become more amenable to change, given what's happened in the last year."Stan couldn't help but smile as he mused. "Yes, I suppose I should be... but this seems... different." You made the right decision, Stan. We've both said that this isn't the nice, small, friendly firm we used to enjoy working at. Leave now, with a good chance of success in your new job. Don't hang around, hoping for things to get.
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