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He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true, because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids stockings were overflowed, his poor panty hose hung sadly empty.One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. Of course, they don’t sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you’ve never been in an X-rated store, don’t go. You’ll only confuse yourself. I was there almost three hours saying things like, “What does this do?” “You’re kidding me!” “Who owns that?”Finally I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll suitable for a night of romance that could also sub as a passenger in my car so I could use the car pool lane. Finding what I wanted was difficult as love dolls come in many models. I figured the “vibro-motion” was a feature my brother could live without so I settled. A friend told me about it, said I could have a real good time here.’ ‘He wasn’t wrong.’ She giggled, and she was too old to be giggling. I downed a healthy pull of beer. Might as well take the bull by the horns: ‘He told me to look up a girl named Dana.’ Suzanne sniffed. ‘I haven’t seen her in here, not yet anyway.’ ‘Does she work here?’ I said with a meaningful look at the stage. ‘She might serve some drinks in here but, no, nothing like that, her boyfriend won’t let her. He’s got his pride, don’t you know?’ ‘Boyfriend?’ Suzanne fumbled around in a tiny purse for a cigarette. When she got it lit she put her hand on my knee. She lowered her voice, ‘You seem like a nice guy, Felix dear, so take my advice. I don’t think you wanta be messing around with Vinnie’s girl.’ She was making it easy for me. ‘Who’s Vinnie?’ ‘Vinnie Patucci, he’s a real tough boy. And let me warn you, he’s very jealous. Jealous and tough, a bad combination. He beat some guy up bad in here one night cause he.
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