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It was the first lesson he had learned from his father, when his formal training had begun. It was a strain, and as difficult as the first time he had succeeded in this exercise. Something was fighting him! Something was trying to stop him from reaching the point of control over his mind and his body that was so familiar!“You must conquer yourself before you can conquer an enemy, ” he heard his father’s words echo in his mind. Each lesson had begun with that exhortation for mental discipline.Syon had trained his entire life to meet physical attacks and overcome physical defenses, but now, he wasn’t facing a physical attack. He and his small team were under a mental attack. None of his training had included mental defense, or offense. For the first time in a very long time, Syon was unsure of how to proceed.Syon instinctively relaxed, enduring the barrage on his senses, like a boxer accepting punishing blows while preparing a counter attack. A mental attack must be answered mentally,. Had it been a dream, had itbeen real, had I really found it so satisfying? Fingering the silk, Iknew in a flash that it was true, but at the same time, I felt a warmglow of confidence, that it was good and wholesome. Indeed, I felt asurge of pride as I recalled how beautiful I could be. I wanted it tobe true.Nevertheless, I dressed conventionally out of habit and once again,after breakfast, went down to the health club. Today, it was themasseuse who gave me my work- out, and she pushed me hard. She shoutedand swore at me as I strained every muscle in an effort to meet herdemands, but it was to no avail. She called me a worthless wimp, and alot of other names far worse, until I found myself on the verge oftears in frustration. I so desperately wanted to please her, but theperformance she wanted was always just out of my grasp. I was slow, orslovenly, or not concentrating, everything was wrong and her fury knewno bounds. Finally, I burst into tears, begging her to stop, pleadingfor.
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