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I did not screw Linda Shoesmith. All these sleazy, twee little double-entendres are not my style. If I fuck a woman, I will tell you. You will be the first - or more likely, the third - to know. I repeat, I did not screw Linda Shoesmith.She screwed me. I never had to move a muscle. Quite how she managed to be so ... well ... physical ... with all that lot hanging from her chest, I do not know, but no doubt it's a question of sustained practice. We performed our act on the living room carpet. The television was on, but I cannot for the life of me remember anything about the show. For me, this is a damning indictment of the quality of British daytime television.What I do remember was Linda's mountainous breasts flopping massively against my face every time she bucked like a top of the range rodeo rough-rider mounted on my (admittedly no-more-than-average) prick. I never saw Linda's face throughout the entire process, although afterwards - when she had rolled off with a sigh - we kissed. When finished, the funnel was ata 90 degree angle from the dildo and with the open funnel portionpointing up and the bottom secured into the large dildo. Theconfiguration would allow anything poured into the funnel to flowthrough the dildo and out the head-which was located in the securedperson's mouth."This will help you keep quite. It's really important that you not drawattention to yourself because people come into this room all the timeto get and leave carts."Inserting the dildo through from the outside of the cart and securingit in Kevin's mouth, the funnel remained on the outside of the cart. Inthis configuration, Kevin was unable to neither move nor speak but hecould see outside the cart due to the one way glass that was positioneddirectly in front of his eyes. Although he could not see the funnelsince it was located higher than his field of vision could see, hecould see the small tube running from the bottom of the funnel to theoutside of his dildo. Lilly finished securing.
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