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Her thoughts stopped racing, they began to focus. She was undone, empty for the last time. It’s a strange thing to hit rock bottom. And stranger still to know the precise moment when said event occurs. You are going along, business as usual when it creeps in on you like the afternoon tide. Things seem okay, then they get a little dangerous and before you know it, you’re out to sea with nowhere to go or hide. The only course of action is to swim hard forever or to smash against the rocks, hoping you are quickly lost. What does one do when there is nothing left to do? Where do you begin when you have no idea where you are? All that you know is that everything is a failure, every part of you is a loss, and emptiness takes on a whole new meaning. Times like these are beyond depression and the horrid suicide. Rock bottom is when there are no emotions, nothing left, nothing at all. There is no reasoning, and it takes reasoning to die. You do have choices. You can lay silent with your mind. The new-found liberty was wonderful, it allowed us to concentrate on what needed to be done.I even found myself quite admiring Simon, he had been pretty decent to her. I found out that he had actually insisted on a purely platonic relationship with her. He stood by her even with the coldness that she couldn't help but display.And I knew he doted on the kids. His was a friendship that allowed her to live with the sort of freedoms I realised I should have allowed her. Of all the shortcomings I knew I had, the fact that I had let the sparkle drop from our relationship was the least defensible. It made me realise how Simon was actually the decent beneficiary of my own bad fortune.It was nearly ten-thirty that night when we reached a decision. I first telephoned Amy at the school residence and then contacted Aileen and Aiden at the farm. I put in a call to Karen and Jennifer at their apartment and left a message on their machine asking them both to meet us there.By the time the teapot was.
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