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Writing the hallucinations out in the book had helped me rationalize them, like reporting a nightmare to a friend in the morning and revealing it to be ridiculous. But sometimes, I relapsed into bad, old habits. Like grief, those habits died hard. I took a longer drink. Now that I’d allowed myself to be Friended, I figured there was no harm in accessing Sheila’s profile. No longer working at the same firm, I noted immediately: two or three upwardly mobile moves had occurred since we’d last seen each other. I felt glad for Sheila, but also disappointed. Hadn’t we clicked, back then, because I’d felt something she wanted to release in herself: an escape from the rat race realm into something purer? Hell, I guess not. Her status updates were the usual depressing assortment of upbeat boasts and faux-modesty. Ooh, a big presentation coming up and she’s nervous, phew, it went well, ‘as you always knew it would’, her friends/colleagues mock-protest in the comments). All the correct kinds of. Hedidn't open the door for me this time, that bastard. We both got in andMichael started to drive me home. We both just sat in silence, but outof the corner of my eye I could still see Michael taking glances at mylegs. Besides that, just complete silence till we got to my house.I looked out the window towards my house. "Um, I don't know what tosay." Just get out," Michael said."Ok, um... night," I said as I open the door and got out.Before I could even close the door behind me, Michael was driving off."What an asshole," I said to myself. I walked to the front door,unlocked and walked in. Just as I did I heard a car pull up in thedriveway. "Is Michael back to try again?" I thought. I looked out thewindow next to the front door and could see my mom getting out of hercar. "Oh FUCK! What is she doing home already?"I turned and ran to the stairs and then up, not till I got to the topdid I notice I was still in the heels.I ran into my mom's bedroom, removed the red heels and put them.
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