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I held up thepink and blue western shirt and gave it a look."Right; now what is the image you are trying to project? Is Deborah acowgirl? Not likely. OK then, into the toss pile."And so it went. My small collection of clothing shrank as wishful butimpractical pieces joined items that did not fit. When I was done I hada few bits of underwear, a pair of pajamas, a robe and the denim skirt.I put the rest in a bag to drop off at Goodwill and sat down and staredat the meager pile on the bed.Automatically I got up and went to the fridge for a beer. Of coursethere was none and for a long minute I fought with myself. It would havebeen so easy to go to the convenience store and grab a six pack or two.I distracted myself by making coffee and managed to calm down. The rest of the evening was trying to decide what would go into apractical wardrobe while keeping in mind my limited budget and, to befrank, less than wonderful body and face. As I hit snags or began toworry about the ugly things. "Wait! Please wait. I'm not sure. She... she bothers me a lot," saidAdam."What is it this time?" Could you remove her beard please? Why, just remove all hair on her bodyand limbs please, particularly her breasts. She's as hairy as I am! Can'twe be as different as the lion and the lioness?" asked Adam."I can't remember thinking about pettiness as a trait when I designedyou, son," said God, now quite annoyed. Adam could tell when God was awee bit angry by the darkening skies and the rumble of distant thundersin the rolling clouds."Well, you did say that you made me in your image. So maybe, just maybe,my pettiness comes from..." said Adam, his voice a little bit squeakyout of fear, but ultimately defiant nevertheless."Enough!" roared God, and a single shaft of white light from the heavenssmote the earth right where Adam was standing, and burned him to a crisp."Guess I will call that lightning," said God, quite surprised by his owncreativity.But he was saddened that his newest creation.
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