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. yet!" She assured him."Well, I'm sort of a mess here and a little late getting started, but thanks for the phone sex." Jared said laughing.Meg wasn't as amused as Jared and after a long silent pause she told him as much."Jared, this wasn't just phone sex, I made love to you! I didn't do it because I was horny and needed the relief, that was a by-product. The reason I called was because thoughts of you and how I missed you made me want you. Don't make it, or me sound cheap. Being your cock whore behind closed doors is the most exciting thing in the world, but it's all because I love you. Am I making sense?" She said, finding the words to express her feelings hard to emote."Yes, and I wasn't making light of anything. It was just a poor choice of words, ... and I don't exactly think of you as "my cock whore" behind closed doors." He said wondering about HER choice of words."Well, I am, just like you're my gigolo behind closed doors. We do each others biddings for sexual gratification,. Maybe someone did mention that throw and hit today and just how exceptionally physical it was. Maybe she lost all respect for me in economics terms, social status (money/power) terms a long time ago. But just maybe she feels a touch of concern, if not fear, that I AM so much more physically powerful than she is and even her new lover…’No! That can’t be it,’ she thinks so hard I can read her mind. And she straightens up and stares back at me. ‘Yes. That’s what I want,’ I continue. ‘Why don’t you just disappear for a few hours or all night, like you’ve done so much lately, and I’ll get a few more of my things and be out of your hair.’ And she looks away again and just nods and leaves. Oh, well. I KNEW this wouldn’t last way back when – and yet I did it anyway and even worse I really did start to get emotionally attached to her, after all. Damn it. ******* Rachel – I left ‘our’ apartment for the last time without even saying goodbye to Jim. Strange that I just thought of him as ‘Jim’.
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