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I take the glass and set it aside.Ilkay's small mouth was spewing forth curses and swears like a gutter whore. From my bag I retrieveI retrieve a 2 inch pink ball gag with a little devil girl drawn on it. Showing the gag to Ilkay, her mouth clamps shut. Smiling I hold her nose until she needs to breathe, and at the same moment I twist her right nipple making her scream in pain. I shoved the gag between her teeth and rotating it so devil girl showed out."Bye, Bye Slut" as I walk out of the old barn behind the bed and breakfast, close the doors and locking them as I leave.A short walk to a side door into the old tack room where I have the regular, low light and heat sensitive cameras set up to watch you without you knowing it.Watching from the monitors, I'm amazed how calm she is just hanging there. Calm that is until the barn slowly darkens as the sun sets, switching on the low light and night vision cameras. The eerie green glow shows Ilkay squirming with every little noise in the. But sometimes, well, more than sometimes, I wanted, or even needed, something wilder. More adventurous. I needed times when I could just let my hair down and just let… things… go. Drop to the ground and have sex in a corner of the park? Sure! Give him a BJ in the middle of a camping trail? Have me grab my ankles and let him lift my skirt and have at me? I was all for it. Wear costumes and role-play? Certainly. I would enjoy all of that, and often wanted to. I just couldn’t get my husband to crack open that shell of vanilla around him. I felt guilty, at times, of my submitting to Ben, and letting Ben do those things I wanted my husband to do. I really wanted to get my husband to come out of his shell, and enjoy sex with me more. I would end my relationship with Ben in a heartbeat if he would. But until he did, I needed a release, a time when I could let go and have someone else be in control and know what to do with it. If I didn’t, I am afraid of what the long-term.
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