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A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( B.O.O.M.!) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or. .."Yeah, I'm sure she will," was all I could offer. "Well, I'd best get going myself, we've got six yards to do today," I told my Aunt."Oh Brian? Just so you know, I've got a date myself this evening," she offered which was rare for her. I'd only known her to go out with someone a couple of times since coming to live here. "So I may or may not be home still by the time you get off. There's some leftovers in the fridge from the other night that you and Jill can heat up if you wish, or a coupon for Pizza if you'd prefer that's by the phone." O.k., thanks Aunt Jack," I said smiling sweetly, then standing and giving her yet another kiss good-bye. "Have fun tonight," I said unnecessarily, and caught a bit of a blush flush her cheeks upon saying that."Let's hope so," was all she said, then lowered her glasses and began reading the paper once again.It was early evening by the time I had finished up and arrived back home. Jackie was gone as was evidenced by the fact her car wasn't in the.
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