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Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said “My wife is so dumb, yesterday she dragged home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain’t even got electricity!” The second hillbilly said “My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain’t even got runnin’ water!” The third hillbilly said “My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table. Everything was spilled out of it and there was a bunch of rubbers layin’ there ... and she ain’t even got a dick!”At a wedding party recently someone yelled “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living”. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.I heard a story about a guy who got a call from his doctor the day after a visit. From what I gathered, the doctor says “I hate to tell you this, but I have bad news and worse news”. Dude asks what the bad news is, doctor goes “you have 24 hours to live”. Dude. "Can you hear him?" she laughed into the phone at her friend who was listening at the other end. I could hear the faint echo of her laugh, as well, feeling less like a man and more like an amusing object.But then I realized, somehow, that this feeling touched me in some inexplicable way. Her pinches were not too painful, and somehow it was all worth it just to hear her laugh, to know that her friend was listening to my yelping.And my yelping changed, I am ashamed to say, from cries of pain into guttural exclaimations of strange delight. I closed my eyes, and actually enjoyed what she was doing to me.Suddenly, she stopped. I opened my eyes, and saw her looking at me with open, round eyes. "H-He likes it," she whispered breathlessly into the phone." ... old you he would," I heard her friend's voice say. Then the blonde hung up with a quick "Talk to you later."She lay down beside me, her chin on my chest, her hand on my belly, her eyes holding mine. "Did," she said with a quavering.
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