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One time after a date I had asked her if she wanted to have sex, she told me that she wanted to wait a while longer but that she would be willing to give me either a hand job or a blow job. I took her up on the blow job and after about ten minutes shot a load of my spunk down her throat. I found out that Michelle was going home for the summer so I made sure I got her phone number. I called her a few times during the summer. This was her private number so again I had no way to find out her real identity. Just before school started up I arranged to meet her at the airport. I helped her move her stuff into her apartment. Then we went out to dinner. We discussed our schedules and found out that we again had several of the same classes together. Our second year together was pretty much the same as our first. She finally told me that she didn’t want to have sex until she got married. I admired her for her dedication to her future husband. One day when we were studying at her apartment. "I pick up the sandwich I had paid hard earned money for and toss it in the trash. Why eat, I'm not going to live long anyway. I already have a plan. I'm kind of sorry to not be able to stick around and see the results. Hell, it is going to be spectacular. I wondered how many days the story will make it on the front page before someone else does something even more spectacular.I guess you could say that I'm being used. But I don't know if that's true either. See, the way I see it, I'm using them. The fact that they'll survive and I won't is beside the point. You see, I want to die. Yep, it's true. I want to die. I have no reason to go on living and no one will miss me.My foster parents, yeah right. They'll be happy I'm not eating everything in sight, and they'll probably hope that no one at DCFS catches on so they can keep cashing the check I generate every month. Friends, who would want to be my friend? I move so much, thanks to DCFS, that making friends is a no win proposition. Now.
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