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Having decided that I wasn’t commenting, Ally went on. ‘I am not a virgin, Jack. But I am not that experienced. I told you about the men I seemed to attract. Few got into my panties. I have always felt an attraction to older men, men who were assured of themselves, comfortable with who they were. Men who would be more interested in me, rather than as a dressing on their arm. There’s not many of those around unfortunately. Then you came along. As I got to know you I began ticking the boxes, and the more I knew you the more boxes got ticked. I liked you from the start, then liking turned into something else, an emotion I had never felt before. Jack! I am a very short journey away from falling in Love with you, and I am close to doing what Mum said I shouldn’t do, throwing myself at a man. Please Jack, if I did that would you catch me?’ I crossed the room and sat beside Ally, taking her hand in mine. ‘Ally, you are a beautiful woman, but more importantly you are beautiful inside. Any. It was as if the guilt was water drops, and the sun made them evaporate, except it happened faster than sunlight would dry a swimmer.I thought it was God, answering my prayers. Maybe he did, and just used a “hug” from Bobby Wilson to do it.The problem with the concept of God’s grace is that even after the priest says you are forgiven, sometimes you don’t feel worthy of that forgiveness. And while the pain of guilt had vanished, the memories of what caused that guilt had not.So the guilt came back. It wasn’t as bad as before, but it returned.Then Bobby “hugged” me again. And this time, it was as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown on me in a sauna. I was at prayers, kneeling, and it was an incredibly physical, intimate feeling. Somehow, I knew God wasn’t involved. I was wrong about that, because he was involved, when he made it possible for Professor Noel Wilson to discover the things he discovered, and apply them to his son. I’ll talk about that in detail later. It would get.
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