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I went to the bathroom, showered, shaved and got dressed. I was more nervous than i’d ever been in my life when i came out of the bathroom. I could see my life going down the tubes because i did something really stupid. Saraswathy was busy packing up and she looked up at me and smiled. She said she had the best nights sleep she’d had in years last night. She was in a very cheerful and happy mood. On the drive back to her home we talked about the fun we had and the quality of the meal. It was as if she had no knowledge of what happened. But, she must surely know. I had dried sperm on my boxers. I came in her, she had to know something happened. Perhaps i had a wet dream. When we arrived at her house she made coffee and served me a cup. She excused herself saying she was going to unpack and put her clothes away. She went down the hallway and into her bedroom. I saw her come back up the hall with a laundry basket, open the laundry room door go in and return to her room empty handed. I. .it's okay,I'm enjoying myself pretty much as I am."I felt the words suddenly rise into my throat, even before I couldstop myself I scolded him. "Benny!" I gasped in shock. "Is that theway we taught you to pray at the supper table?"He laid his sandwich back down and sighed. "God is great. God isgood. Let us thank him for our food."In unison, we all said, "Amen." That's better," I replied, glaring accusingly at his grandfatherwho was trying his best to keep from laughing.I felt a strange pang of unfamiliarity, mostly because I had neverreally prayed at a meal before...not to mention, the way thescolding of the child came from my own mouth, as if I had alwaysresponded maternally in this way to this boy. Coupled with that,the old man was still smiling at Benny and deep down, I wassurprised at the strange motherly way it had played out...includingthe glare I had given his grandpa. To a casual observer on thatscene, I would have assumed, that I truly was the mother and wasnone too please.
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