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Why not take advantage ofthat fame? It's not going to last forever, you know." I'd rather it didn't last at all," I moan. "I like my life in Cardiff,I've got friends, family, no, you know, 'pressure'... I can just kickback, eat and drink what I want and spend the whole evening playingvideogames rather than dressing up in some stupid costume and hang outwith a bunch of airheads..." Getting kinda hard not to take this personally," Ella says, making mewince."Sorry," I mumble. "I didn't mean you personally, it's just- you know?Having to keep up appearances, put on a smile when inside I'm screamingin frustration... What was my entire childhood. I don't want to have tokeep doing that." ...I thought that was the reason you wrapped that bandage around yourtits," Ella says, making me sigh yet again. "And didn't you say beforethat your mum would be just as happy with you being a male model?" That's not the point," I say. "I want to be my own person. I want- Iwant my mum to accept no matter. Gene turned to me and asked:"Hey Charlene. What would you call a girl with one legshorter that the other?I just stared at him, my mouth sagging. I really didn'tknow what to say."Eileen." He answered his own question.He was answered by a general groan. I was scandalized, Ijust didn't know what to do."Know what you'd call an Asian woman with the sameaffliction?" He paused. "Irene." What would you call her after the operation?" Chimed inCarla. "Noleen." How 'bout if she's married to a politician?" I reallydon't know who asked that one, this was too much."Tipper!" came the answer. They were off and running andnothing was going to stop them."Hey Charlene - What do you call a guy with no arms and nolegs in the ocean?" Bob!" the chorus replied.Hanging on the wall?" ArtIn a hole? PhilIn front of the door? MattIn a ditch? PhilIn your hot tub? StuWater skiing SkipOn a beach? Sandy"Enough! Enough!" I cried. "You win! Did I pass the test?"It's hard to flee in horror when you're on.
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