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Then one day I decided I could wait no longer – it was now or never – and so here I sit, stomach churning, batting out short texts tracking him down the motorway. Oh my God, I’d done it; I’d invited him to my home. What was I thinking! What do I wear? What do I say? Will he like me? Will I like him? No going back! Then I hear the yard gate and know its too late — he's arrived! Using all my inner strength I open the door and plaster on a smile. Phew it's ok; he is still the lovely sweet man who had been chatting to me on the phone trying to figure out my needs and wants. I make coffee and we talked for an hour, how I regretted that hour now. Next time I’ll have him spank as soon he steps in through the door, heck I’ll even open the door in the buff. Even now I can’t explain why I want to be punished, why I want to submit and have him standing over me. He tells me that sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts, about accepting. “You’re going to come back after work to spot that fat little monster?”“It’s an opportunity to gain her trust,” I said. “She’s got more problems than any girl I’ve ever worked with, but she’s also smarter than any girl I’ve ever worked with. She’s kind of like a pet project. Besides, I kind of want to see how strong she really is. Don’t you?”“Look,” Sean said, his cheeks reddening with embarrassment as he remembered the weightlifting contest he lost to an eleven year old girl, “what happened today was obviously some kind of trick. No woman can be that strong, especially not a little girl.”A little spark of anger lit inside me. “Boys in my high school used to say the same thing about me, Sean,” I said coldly. “Until they tried to lift with me.”“The boys in your high school were twerps,” Sean said with a smile. “Compared to you at least.”“Maybe you’re a twerp compared to Becky,” I said, teasing him.“This is getting weird,” Sean said with a wink. “I hope you’re not going to get a crush.
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