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”“Mom, about last night. You know I am not going to be able to stop thinking about it.”I could not blame him. I loved John with all my heart and soul, but what we were doing could not in any way be perceived as a mother’s maternal love for her son. It was nothing more than pure lust on my part, and I imagined on his part too.“I know, Honey. I can’t either.” I admitted.“I need to know where this is going. I will not be able to stop wondering when you will come to my room or ask me to join you. I thought about this all day. We either need to stop completely right now, or you need to let me know exactly what you expect from me. I want you to be happy, but I can’t just be on call whenever you feel you need me, not after last night. I won’t be able to stay in this house if I have to be near you and always wonder if you will want to be with me like that again. I’m afraid to even kiss your cheek because of what I may do.”John was right. I manipulated and used him to fill that empty spot in. Predictably, she took a window seat; she liked to look out at the lights spread out below. Crossing most of the country on the flight to O'Hare, they tended to be scattered, and sometimes there was a nearly total blankness below them. She was on the plane's manifest as Jennifer Evachevski, and she only had to use the "Oh, Wow! Do you REALLY think I look like Jenny Easton?" gag once, in a shrill Brooklyn accent so obnoxious that she wasn't bothered. Somewhere over Utah, or maybe it was Colorado, she fell asleep, and didn't wake up until the jet began its letdown for Chicago.From there on, it wasn't a problem at all; no one even asked, and apparently no one even thought that she might really be what she looked like. After all, what would a glamorous Hollywood star, a recording star, be doing on the North Central 737 flying between Chicago and Camden?Which is not to say that she didn't get some attention, but it was the same attention that any pretty woman traveling alone would get; all.
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