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“Pig-fucker,” I murmur. Zelda comes out of the bedroom, Monkey Man now blasting from the record in Rambler’s end. “OK, we’re getting out of here,” I say. Before she can say anything, Sheldon’s arm suddenly in a terror of fervor grabs my leg! He’s pulling me down. I see his face is while and reddish and blood is being coughed and breathed out as he still grabs me in his clutches and reaching up towards me, shoulder flapped off and all. Sheldon isn’t living and hasn’t crossed over yet. The piercings in the inner flesh have done nothing to stop his craze to bring me down with him to the afterlife. Fuck that. The fisherman’s pocketknife falls out of my pocket on the floor, but I retrieve it with ease and effort, plucking up the sharpest mini-razor, leaning the skull of the living dead to the side and nailing the knife through to the other side. The gagging stops. The dead body, the sloth himself, is exterminated. I stand up, no blood on my shirt but a good lot on my pants legs. Zelda’s. You said it, and I heard you, you hypocrite. You really want to be with me. But you won’t comfort me when I need you. What kind of love is that?” She sat back triumphantly and crossed her long, lovely legs on the coffee table. “Hold on there, little lady.” My belly was tumbling with what was essentially embarrassment at the discovery. “That’s quite a leap, there. I’m just a neighbor helping out another neighbor. Nobody said anything about the ‘L’ word.” “Bullshit!” she spat. “Sure, I think you’re gorgeous, but you’re also about half my age.” “That doesn’t matter, and besides, it’s not half. Maybe fifteen years.” “Maybe a little more,” I chuckled. “And, truth be known, I do care. But that’s more about hating to see you in such pain.” “I heard you. And, I was wrong. You say my name like it was velvet.” “Shania,” I protested gently. “See?” she said. “Velvet.” I shook my head. “No, I think you want to love me. But, why won’t you let me stay with you, sleep with you?” “I told you.
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