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He felt sick inside. He tried to imagine his own parents dying, and then having to look after Jay and Bec. A cold shiver ran up his spine, even though he knew he couldn't really imagine it. All of a sudden Shahia's face came into his mind. He remembered her stone face as the kids at school made fun of her lunch, or made fun of her, and imagined her wearing that same stony look at her parent's funeral. It was too much, and he folded in on himself, collapsing onto the desk, sobbing.Eventually he pulled himself together and sat up. He turned back to the computer and read the article again. The police denied that racism had been a factor? Why do that? It almost proved that it had been.He heard a noise from his door, and turned to look. His mum was standing in the doorway, with a concerned look on her face. He wondered how long she'd been there; he hadn't heard the door open."Are you okay?"Normally Chris would've been really embarrassed to have been caught crying, especially by his mum,. I didn't realise it at the time, of course, the but the first iceberg had appeared on the horizon. It was only a matter of time until it sunk the ship. I should have thought more about what happened, but in my childish arrogance I merely assumed that Jane was so happy with me that she wanted to share me with her friend. Once or twice my mind drifted toward Jane's attitude to sex, considering her work, but I pushed it away every time, refusing to consider the possibility that this beautiful, sacred act was nothing special to her.The impact itself came about two weeks later, when Jane had invited me to a party at her place, a gathering of industry folk.I was hanging around by the kitchen, clutching a glass of white wine as if it was a life-line. I was out of my depth, I knew it. These weren't my sort of people. They were - scary, somehow, hyper-sexualised Greek Gods and Goddesses wandering around, sharing intimate kisses and touches with complete indiscretion. By the windows, a curvy.
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