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Now, thanks to you I’ve lost all my money!”The Priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. “You aren’t Catholic are you my son?”“No, I’m Jewish.”“That’s the problem”, said the Priest, “you couldn’t tell the difference between a blessing and last rites.”This one is compliments of J & BFarmer Steve, had been in a terrible automobile accident. He was hurt quite badly. He sued the trucking company that had struck his vehicle and injured him.The case was taken to trial, and Farmer Steve was on the stand to testify.The plaintiffs’ attorney asked Farmer Steve “if he had said that he was not injured?”Farmer Steve, replied,” I had to load my pet donkey in the back of the truck.”“I said did you not tell the highway patrolman that you were just fine?”“well as I said, I was--”The plaintiffs’ attorney said “I asked you if you said were not injured, please answer the question.”Farmer Steve said “well after I loaded my donkey Susan on the truck, I got in the truck started to drive to town.”The attorney. A quick stomp or smack caused both thugs to flinch in pain, and caused a reflexive desire to shield that injury from further harm. An elbow to the jaw followed by a kick to the face soon after, and both were down on the ground. Maybe not down for the count, but Jeremy was always a “style over substance” kind of guy when it came to the delinquents he employed. All he cared about was how intimidating they'd look, not how well they'd do in a fight.He should have at least learned to start diversifying his pool of minions, or providing them with information on how you've already gone through several dozens of similar meatheads.And true to form, the thugs on the floor were just like the others you've had to deal with. Any thoughts of an easy paycheck went out of the window at the first sign of anything more than mildly inconvenient pain, and a broken nose/busted jaw more than qualified in their minds for the “fuck this, I'm out” clause that always came up when the pissy little Pressman.
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