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Mustapha's loving words were striking thewomanliest chords in me, and all I could do was take his kisses and rewardhim with my loyalty, devotion and servitude. In my heart and in my mind,he was the absolute Ruler.But the hormones continued doing their magical job. In the two monthsafter getting my trans clitoris, my breasts grew about another cup. Myareolas and nipples also grew a little bigger. Four months into mytransition, my chest had reached the perfect proportion with my belly andshoulders. Mustapha was in adoration of my torso. To this day, hemaintains that was the most beautiful my breasts have been. The lovebetween us had evolved in a full spiritual, sensual experience. In thekitchen in the morning, at the swimming pool in the afternoon, I bed atnight, I offered my body and my femininity to my master, the focus of mylife as a woman. In return, he infused his masculinity in me, kissing mynipples, my antennae, the channels through which he communicated directlywith my female. Until one day, I thrust my index finger into my rectum and imagined myself dominated by all those who had flaunted their large male members. Even then, though, my killing thoughts lingered. I swore when I went off to college I would come back and kill him in the evening hours, my trusty green car battering the life out of him as I spun my tires away back to Maryland, awaiting a call that my friend had been killed, by a stranger no less. But I didn't. I stayed my killing hand. I turned my thoughts to homosexual images of buff, bulging men muscles, glittering in tan, surreal Apollo rooms, while I shut myself in my college dormroom. That night, that first night, I let it all loose. I tendered my small member to the image of a Blonde god, a 14 pack man in a gym, the first release of heroin-like ecstasy in the wee hours of the night, looking strangely at my crotch, observing glistening streams of semen falling in rivulets down my leg. Many girls had flirted with me, putting me in angst.
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