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Abscissa: A collection of pus in a woman’s skin.Bisect: A religious grouping which allows sexual intercourse with both men and women.Concave: Where escaped prisoners hide out in the mountains.Kite: Fraud involving checks.Torus: A lot of bull...Vertical: Causing dizziness.Surface Area: Where the waitress will bring your food.Why do the Pope and the Cardinals wear skullcaps (as do all Orthodox Jews)? Because when they reach that level in the Catholic hierarchy, they tell them the truth.A Rabbi and a Priest were discussing professional advancement. The priest said that with qualified priests, they can become monsignors.The rabbi asked, “And then what?”“Well”, said the priest, “if they’re really qualified, they can become bishops.”The rabbi asked, “And then what?”The priest replied, “If they’re very qualified they can become archbishops.”The rabbi asked, “And then what?”The priest continued, “If they’re exceptionally qualified, they can become cardinals.”And the rabbi asked, “And then. "Oh Chris! Can you drop me off at the shop, the one a few blocks from school?" Ingenious. "There's one just down the road, I'll drop you there so you have less of a walk," he replied. Ever the gent it seemed, damn him. I had to think quick, "No no! Erm, that shop won't serve me, I need some smokes." "Okay, fair enough," he replied, making a quick detour, "you want us to wait for you?" He asked kindly. "No thanks!" Phew, avoid school, complete. He pulled up by the shop and I thanked him for the ride and told Leila I'd see her later. I stalled for a second by pulling my tights up, but they did not leave so I walked into the shop. It was actually one I did go in to get served, so I darted into the magazine aisle so that the shopkeeper didn't see me and recognise me. "Tilly!" Chris' voice called me, he had come into the shop too. He met my eyes and walked up to me, placing his hands on my lower back. "I just wanted to tell you I had a really great time with you last night..
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