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"Nice to see the breathing exercises are working, now let's getthem working again. I want you and Barbara in the rehearsal studio,Barbara on the piano please. You others," she held out some sheets ofpaper. "Lists for you to check, add to and make suggestions on, runningorder, wardrobe shortages, stuff like that. You have an hour and theneverybody into the studio." And away she went not waiting for us. "Wasit breathing exercises?" April asked a little hopefully. We laughed andthen Barbara and I followed May into the studio.May went straight to business. "The First Time Ever I saw Your Face,ready?" She waited until Barbara and I had prepared ourselves and thennodded at Barbara. I waited for my cue and started to sing. I sang itwell, very well and May never stopped me. I finished and turned to her."Good, very good, now sing it properly, you are in love, slow itslightly, let notes linger a little longer," She tapped the piano andBarbara started again. "I closed my eyes and. I'd ABANDONED people who loved me and who didn't want to see me go. I was STILL fucked-up. I still didn't know who I was, or who I was going to be. I still didn't understand myself, let alone how to fix myself. I'd been here for three months already, and I wasn't any closer to knowing how I was going to get back to Ben.My friendship with Nick had been borne out of a mutual sense of not belonging. We had both been outsiders, recovering from our past mistakes and trying to discover how to find our way back again. I had bonded with Nick because I didn't feel threatened by him, and because I saw in his lost soul a kind of kinship, knowing that we were both in the same boat.But all of a sudden, I didn't feel that kinship with Nick anymore.And once again, I felt all alone.-- DECEMBER 2 --"Balcony?" Nick suggested as he caught up to me just outside the staff cabin.I had just been about to step off the porch, but paused for a brief moment to turn and shake my head. "Nah. You go ahead if you.
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