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“Patrick?” I asked softly, knowing that he wasn’t sleeping. “Yes, luv?” “Do you love me?” He caught one of my hands and brought it to his lips, where he kissed it softly on the palm. “Of course I do, very much so.” “And I love you,” I whispered. “That’s why I don’t understand all this.” We were both silent. Despite my inner turmoil, I felt strangely content. After a minute, he spoke. “I think I do. I have always known that there was this part in me that loves power. Sometimes it is like an aphrodisiac, and the power I felt...” His thumb caressed my cheek. “...the power you gifted me with last night was almost overwhelming. And you…” He smiled down lovingly. “...you appear to have a rather strong submissive part that wants to do everything to please me, and one that can turn shame into pleasure.” “It’s so embarrassing,” I whispered. “Yes, it is,” he answered quietly, but I thought I heard a bit of amusement in his voice. “And to me, it’s incredibly beautiful.” “Really?” I asked.. I wasn’t one of those husbands that wanted to be in the delivery room with their wife, in fact I would have rather been in an old fashion waiting room. But not to be, I stood by Beth’s side as she did her job. I did draw the line at cutting the cord, I told the nurse that I was feeling a little woozy as an excuse and got out of it. Beth and the baby were fine without my participation. One of the nurses cleaned up the baby, wrapped her in a blanket, and handed her to me. I was supposed to hand her to Beth and then play proud papa. After several minutes the nurse had to remind me to give the baby to Beth, I didn’t want to let her go. I know that if you put your finger in a baby’s hand that the baby will grasp your finger, it’s a natural reflex for babies. But when Alyssa held on to my finger, I was hooked. That inconsequential little reflex bound me to her for the rest of my life. My heart swelled, I got tears in my eyes, and I lost my voice. Beth beamed at my reaction to our daughter..
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