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.wait a minute." He narrowed his eyes, glaring atRyoga. "You're not Ranma. Then that means-"BAM!He was once again cut off, this time by a large wooden mallet landingright on his still tender bump. The mallet's wielder huffed and pickedthe elderly martial artist up by the scruff of his neck. "That shouldteach you, you little pervert!" she huffed, only to finally noticeRyoga.Ryoga, by contrast, had noticed her almost immediately, but was toofrozen in panic to run. Oh god no, he thought to himself. Not her.Anyone but her. Not here. Anywhere but here. Not like this. ANYTHING butTHIS.Akane gave Ryoga's naked body a quick once over, her face quicklyglowing in embarrassment. But rather than exploding in fury like he wasexpecting, her angry expression gave way to one of sympathy. She droppedHapposai and immediately rushed over to Ryoga."Oh my gosh, miss!" she said to him, as he just stared blankly. "Didthat old man do this to you?" ...uh..." Ryoga glanced from Akane to Happosai, who's eyes. “And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?”“I can’t piss out of it.” he replied.The waiting room erupted in laughter...A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.After months of careful research, “MALE & FEMALE” procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.MALE PROCEDURE:1. Drive up to the cash machine.2. Put down your car window.3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.6. Put window up.7. Drive off.FEMALE PROCEDURE:(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)1. Drive up to cash machine.2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.3. Set parking brake, put the window.
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”“Mmm, let us go back to the end—”“The end, don’t you mean the beginning?”“Let me put it this way, Customer, what’s the very last thing that your mortal memory remembers?”“Well, there I was walking to the shops to collect my pension, a bottle of milk and a newspaper, then looking up to see a piano swinging into a third floor window, thinking it’s all right, it’s only unlucky to walk under a ladder ... Next thing I know I’m standing here like a bloody lemon in front of your not-so-pearly pearly gates.”“Mmmm,” The Voice sounded somewhat cautious all of a sudden, “Are you a test?”“What’d’yer mean, am I a test?”“Someone testing how we’re implementing the new system, because this all sounds like a blessed set-up to me.”“What new system?”“New entry program ... Upstairs imposed it on us very recently and Downstairs had to go along with it, everything’s changed and we’re still learning the blessed thing.”“How’s it work?”“First of all, you have to make up a password—”“Open sesame!” I.

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