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‘Sweetheart, I think I found you an apartment. It is in my building but it is smaller. It still needs some painting but that is about it.’ I figured I would let her pick the colors. ‘How much is it? You know I can’t afford much.’ That is the thing, the owner is a good friend of mine. I think I can get you a good deal. Let’s go take a look.’ When she saw it her first reaction is, ‘There is no way I can afford this. This has to be at least a thousand per month.’ I just smiled and said, ‘How about 600 and that includes utilities.’ ‘What she screamed. You are kidding. What is the catch?’ ‘There is no catch. I told you I am friends with the owner. Well I do happen to like myself very much. I can’t let my girls live in a dangerous part of town now can I. I wanted to wait till I completed it before I showed it to you. As you can see it does need painting but I wanted to let you guys pick the colors. What do you say, would you like to move here?’ ‘Is what you just said true? Are we really. I knew that they couldmake me sterile. I knew that they would affect my ability to get anerection. I knew that they would reduce my strength and alter my bodyshape. I knew that they would alter my emotions and the way my brainworked.I was in favour of the changes that they would make to my body. I thinkthat I was still against the idea of the effect on my cock and balls. Iwas in two minds about the effects on my mind. How would I feel if Istarted to find men attractive? How would I feel about kissing men? Howwould I feel about sex with a man? Strangely enough, the idea neitherrepulsed me nor got me aroused. I could envisage myself with a man, butnot any particular man.I knew deep down that my current situation was not where I wanted to be.The idea of being a part time cross dresser did not appeal to me at all.The idea of being an almost full time cross dresser did not appeal. Iknew that I had to decide. Do I want to be a woman or do I want to stayas a man? I knew that I did not want.
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